“I’m not a citizen of the world.”

July 15, 2009

Newt emphasizing his point that hes an asshole

Newt Gingrich extends his left index finger triumphantly, while his right thumb remains firmly implanted up his ass.

Newt Gingrich, a loathsome representative of both his country and his species, was recently interviewed by an actual journalist. The result?  Remarkably watchable, if only to see Newt squirm under the pretense of his own faux-intellectualism and faux-moralism.

The highlight is Newt’s monomania re: the Declaration of Independence because it grants credit for our inalienable rights to God, which is quickly followed by disparaging comments about our nation’s strong tradition of legal positivism. The cry of “my rights didn’t come from no damn lawyer or judge” seems to be joining the pantheon of “I didn’t come from any damn monkey” among the type of ignoramuses that comprise the modern day Theocratic Republican party. C’mon everybody – join with Newt in chanting  “Allahu Akbar“!

That is the one point in the interview where I would deduct points from  the otherwise impeccable Avi Lewis, because he missed a great opportunity to direct Newt’s attention to the actual governing document of the United States, i.e., the Constitution, and the fact that despite it containing no reference to any supernatural basis for its interior morality, it sustains to this day as the greatest document any American has ever produced. And yes, I did consider Terry Southern’s contribution to the screenplay for Dr. Strangelove, and well, shit, I still got to give it to the Bill of Rights. Old flames die hard.

Don’t get me wrong, the Declaration is a stirring piece of work, but it has no more force in law then Paine’s Common Sense or the the Gettysburg Address, so citing it as the preeminent source of our legal rights in this country is, well, stupid.

Newt’s comments reveal himself as a person who finds the Declaration inspiring chiefly due to its explicit support for his ridiculous superstitions about the great and glorious Sky Wizard. It’s reminiscent of right wing morons who suddenly gave a shit about the Ramones once they found out Johnny was a Republican.

Ugh. Anyway, I highly recommend rinsing out the sour taste of Newt with the following tribute to a true American statesman:


One Response to ““I’m not a citizen of the world.””

  1. […] Declaration of Independence fetishists need to be continually exposed as deeply unserious intellectual midgets until they’re exiled […]

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